Life Skills: A Way to Build Capacity

A very efficient and effective way to build capacity is to develop life skills, beginning with the eleven skills identified as core or basic life skills. Develop assumes that the seed of each already exists within you, embedded in human nature. It is then up to each individual to put in the work — time, effort and will — and train themselves in the mastery of these abilities.

It is basic human formation to do this: to learn and train yourself to deal effectively with the challenges of everyday life, rather than praying that stress will miraculously disappear or that self-esteem will suddenly appear after an ‘imposition of hands’.

Prayer is good and necessary, and it is my personal go-to for managing stress and sustaining healthy self-esteem. But prayer should not be used to run away from the responsibility we have to train ourselves to be good and healthy people.

So when I am stressed, yes, I pray first to calm myself down. But once I am calm enough to think clearly, I begin the mental work of identifying what triggered the stress reaction and what concrete actions I myself can take in the future to prevent or minimise similar situations. I also place the right and fair pressure on myself to conduct myself in a way that ensures my stress does not negatively affect others or impact my work.

For example, if you struggle with low self-esteem, prayer can anchor you in the truth about your dignity as a person created by God. But you must also examine the habits, thought patterns and comparisons — especially those shaped by what others think of you or by social media — that reinforce your insecurity, and intentionally remove them from your life.

If checking other people’s social media feeds makes you feel inadequate or unsettled, stop looking at them. If you find that once you are on social media you cannot help but compare yourself, then step away from it completely — unless you genuinely need it for work. And if you do need it for work, you must still take responsibility for filtering what you watch and read.

The point here is not to be harsh or judgemental; it is to say, as truthfully as possible: you must intentionally put in the work, you must activate and execute your prayer, not just say words, and then the grace of God will anchor and amplify the fruits of your effort — as opposed to seeking miracles for things you can do yourself using what God has already embedded in the fabric of human nature.

Just to be clear, even after putting in the work to achieve this result, the glory still belongs to God, because He is after all the One who created you — you did not create yourself — so He really should receive the credit for the amazing woman you become when you use all the abilities, capacities and capabilities with which He has blessed you. Don’t you agree?

For a Christian woman, think of this as a basic requirement for your apostolate in the world: knowing yourself inside out, knowing how to relate to others and form healthy relationships, and knowing how to handle life’s challenges will make you a better instrument for the Holy Spirit.